A Response to the Tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut

I feel like we are missing something as a society. What I love most about Montessori, is the ability to be able to share a point of view on a subject with an audience that is keen to listen. The beauty of this Montessori community is that we each come with our own set of beliefs and our own experiences, that make us into the person we are and continue to be. From these beliefs and experiences we see the world and the people in the world, in different ways. You may not agree with everything or anything that I am writing here and that is okay. I just ask that you think about what you can do, in light of this, to connect to others, in a real, tangible way. One that makes a difference in a positive way, impacting their life for the better.

Obviously, I am saddened for the loss of life, in such a brutal way, yet I am also saddened because this young man Adam Lanza, was troubled. Somehow, in his life he became disconnected. How did this happen? Why do we so easily allow it to happen? We see this all the time, children who begin to pull away socially, or maybe never really "fit" the so-called standards. The children that aren't invited to the birthday parties, the children who don't have anyone to play with at recess, the children who are made fun of for the lunches they bring to school, or the clothes they wear, or because they aren't a fast runner, or they aren't a fluid reader, or they (you can fill in number of ways we judge here). Why don't we as parents step in? Why do we allow this behaviour in our children? Do we demonstrate this behaviour for them?

During the last week, I read the book Montessori Madness, by Trevor Eissler.  He writes very well on the idea of Community. Montessori schools have a genuine community about them based on the philosophy demonstrated and practised daily by the guides (teachers), the students, and the families.

"The Montessori "community" allows and encourages children to connect with others, personal differences blend in, strengths and weaknesses are merely points on a continuum of growth and learning, not characteristics with which to permanently define a child. Children are used to seeing a wide range of abilities. They get used to working with others at various places on that long continuum. They learn to appreciate what others CAN do, not what they CAN'T do. In this community, one can practice, and get comfortable, working with all ability levels.

Community gives life value.

We must build strong communities to support and improve the quality of our human interactions. Montessori children are practising the qualities of compassion, grace and courtesy every day.

Some people don't function well with others. Some haven't learned how to be social and stray toward the anti-social. Violence, child abuse and theft are actions of disconnected people. They never had the opportunity to practice, day in and day out, techniques to manage anger in a graceful way, to practice courteousness, to practice real teamwork, or to connect. Weak communities have too many disconnected people. They've become numbers in their communities. We are contributing to the weakening of our communities today in various ways. We watch TV instead of sitting on the front porch. We live far from work and commute. We even send our children across town (or into other towns) to play sports with a bunch of kids their precise age and level of ability, instead of down the street at the empty lot with a mix of kids from the community."

What would it look like if we stopped to speak and acknowledge children of all abilities?

What if we encouraged our children to invite the "misfit" child from their class over for a meal?

What if we spoke highly of all children and did not "label" or judge them.

What if we reached out with love and compassion?

What if we smiled more to those we meet on the street, adults and children alike?

What would happen if our children never heard an insulting comment come from our lips?

We would have a  well-connected, strong, community.